The Heart of It All: Navigating Relationships with Clarity and Compassion

Romantic Relationships: Emotional Safety, Attachment & Growth

Romantic relationships can be our most intense — and our most revealing. They often bring to the surface the parts of us that long to be seen, loved, and understood… and the parts that fear rejection, abandonment, or loss of control.

Current thinking: Attachment theory meets CBT

Many of us unconsciously replay attachment styles formed in childhood. Anxious attachment can show up as clinginess or constant worry; avoidant attachment can look like emotional withdrawal or discomfort with intimacy. Secure attachment, however, allows for connection and autonomy.

CBT helps by identifying the thoughts and behaviours that keep these patterns in motion. For example:

We challenge these thoughts by gathering evidence and building more balanced alternatives.

Practical tip: Create a “Relationship Check-In” ritual. Once a week, ask each other:

Family Relationships: Navigating Roles, Guilt & Boundaries

Family is where it all begins — and sometimes, where it gets the most complicated. We don’t just grow up in families; we grow up through them.

Current thinking: Systems theory and intergenerational patterns

Family systems often lock us into roles: the caretaker, the rebel, the golden child. We may still play these roles as adults, often unconsciously.

Guilt and obligation can make it hard to set boundaries, especially if we’ve been taught that love = sacrifice.

CBT offers a space to untangle these beliefs and decide how you want to show up now, as your adult self.

Practical tip: Use the Assertive Rights List (a CBT tool) to remind yourself:

Friendships: Reciprocity, Connection & Evolution

Friendships are vital for our mental health. Yet they’re often sidelined in adulthood as we juggle work, family, and responsibilities. We may outgrow old friends or long for deeper connection.

Current thinking: Social connection as a protective factor

Research shows that meaningful social connection lowers the risk of depression, anxiety, and even physical health issues. But the quality of connection matters.

Signs of an unhelpful friendship:

CBT encourages you to notice your internal scripts:

Practical tip: Try the “Friendship Values Audit.” Ask yourself:

Workplace Relationships: Boundaries, Assertiveness & Role Stress

Work takes up a massive part of our lives, so it’s no surprise that workplace dynamics affect our mental health. Whether it’s an overbearing manager, a team that lacks cohesion, or blurred boundaries between personal and professional, the challenges are real.

Current thinking: Role clarity, psychological safety & compassion in leadership

Psychological safety — the belief that you won’t be punished for speaking up — is key to healthy teams. Without it, people retreat, mask stress, or become burnt out.

CBT tools help employees and leaders alike become more intentional in their communication:

Practical tip: Use the DEARMAN technique (from DBT) to ask for what you need at work:

Example: “When meetings run late, I end up missing school pick-up. I feel anxious and disorganised. I’d like to finish meetings on time so I can focus and still meet my responsibilities.”

Here are some other tools to help you navigate these relationships.

1. Core Belief Tracker

Use this tracker to notice the thoughts that arise in your key relationships. This awareness is the first step in challenging unhelpful patterns.

Relationship type: _________________________

Triggering situation: _______________________

Automatic thought: _________________________

Emotion felt (0–10 intensity): _____________

Evidence for this thought: _________________

Evidence against this thought: ______________

Balanced thought: __________________________

2. Boundary Planner

Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, but it’s a vital step in protecting your peace and energy.

Who is this boundary with? __________________

What is the situation? ______________________

What do I need or want to change? ___________

How will I express this clearly and calmly? __

What might their reaction be? _______________

How will I handle their reaction? ___________

3. Conversation Starters for Relationship Check-Ins

Use these prompts in your romantic or close relationships to deepen understanding and connection.

– What’s been making you feel loved or appreciated lately?

– What’s something we could improve together?

– How are you feeling about our time together recently?

– Is there anything I’ve done that hurt or upset you — even if unintentionally?

– What’s one small thing we could each do to feel more connected?